Why does authenticity seem so hard to come by?
I’ve been listening to Matthew West’s song “Truth by Told” on repeat lately. It sings to my soul. I love the message and it got me to thinking about my own life.
I was talking with a friend earlier this week about how I’ve craved real, authentic connection for the majority of my life. A kind of connection where I feel safe to be the version of Emily I was created to be and not just the societal approved version of Emily.
It was a pretty deep conversation.
Then it occurred to me… is it other people that I’m craving the authentic connection with or is it an authentic connection to myself that I’m craving.
I think it could be a bit of both.
You see, we have all had our own level of trauma that tells us who we are is not good enough, not worthy, not loveable, not smart. In the process of these messages, it changes the pieces of our personality that we allow to shine through to the outside.
I’ve embarked on a journey that I have deemed, rising from the ashes. It’s a process where I’ve been digging threw all the layers of trauma that I’ve endured in my life and rediscovering and loving the version of me that’s been neglected for so many years.
Acknowledging the truth can be hard because sometimes it’s not what we want to hear. It’s not soft and fluffy. Burying the things that hurt can be a hell of a lot easier than dealing with them but, friend, I’m here to tell you that those emotional wounds are no different than a cut or scrape on your skin. They need air to heal. Speaking the truth is the only way to give them air.
It’s been an amazing process. Not easy but so rewarding. It’s been so refreshing to break down the wall of protection that I had built up around myself and start to love and embrace the beautiful person I was created to be.
I wrote a book on the framework that I’ve created around the process of rising from the ashes. It’s set to officially release next week but you can pre-order the ebook by clicking on the green button below.
Pre-order Rising from the Ashes Here
I was asking a friend to help me narrow down the goals that I set for myself over the next 6 weeks. She had asked me what I was considering so, I listed them off. She helped me talk them through and at the end of our conversation, she made an observation. She said, “ you have a habit of spreading yourself too thin... why do you do that?”
At first, I brushed it off by saying “it’s just how I am” which she didn’t buy. So I tried explaining that I get bored quickly if I don’t have a bunch of different things on the go at the same time.
This is completely true but she wasn’t letting me off the hook. So, I sat there in thought until it came to me.
“I’m addicted to stress?” I questioned
I guess even with all the work I’ve done reclaiming my life, I am still a work in progress... but that will always be true. I will always be a work in progress.
So, you may be wondering, how is someone addicted to stress?!
Well, it’s the chemicals that your brain produces that are actually the addiction but when you’ve lived in a high stress environment for a prolonged period of time, your body begins to become desensitized to the chemicals. If this happens for long enough, you actually become dependent on those chemicals to function.
This is the category, I have realized I am in. I have become dependent on those stress hormones to function. Without them, I feel like my world is going haywire and my anxiety flairs up to create a “calm”… I use that term loosely because it’s not at all calm.
At this point, I don’t have all the answers on how to correct and heal from this addiction but I do know where to start, which is huge. I can also say that if this sounds like you, you aren’t alone and I’d like to invite you on this journey with me.
I have created a community on Facebook of women who are ready to reclaim their lives as their own- body, mind and Pinterest. This is a community all about nourishing our WHOLE selves. It’s a place where we aren’t just mom or the spouse or the caregiver. It’s a community where we are vibrant women creating the lives we have been dreaming of. You’re invited! The more the merrier! The green button below will take you there.
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