From Unwanted to Shining bright

From Unwanted to Shining bright

Recently, I had an experience where my feelings were invalidated because the person didn’t understand why or how I could feel the way I am feeling and have felt throughout my whole childhood. 


If you are someone who has been adopted or raised by someone other than your parents, you will understand where I’m coming from. 


The thought process I’m being challenged with… “You were raised by people who love you, so you have no right to complain” 


Okay, I can see how someone could think this. For so long, I felt like I was massively misunderstood and like I was selfish for feeling the way I felt. What I have learned is that there is a very significant and justified reason for the feelings I have about my childhood. 


I have found that this is a largely misunderstood topic so let me break it down for you. 


We are all born with a mother and a father. It was intended by the universe for those two people to raise the child. There is a very strong bond between mother and child. 


So, when the mother makes the choice to not raise her child and allow someone else to do it, or maybe she’s unable to care for the child for whatever reason, the separation from the mother is a very traumatic event… even IF it is fairly peaceful. 


I have battled against many, many complicated feelings as I grew up. Now, as an adult, I am grasping the concept but I am still very much in a learning curve.

However, make no mistake… my feelings toward my childhood are no indication of being ungrateful towards the people who raised me. It is because of those people that I am the person that I am today. They gave me the foundation which gave me a fighting chance.


If you’re like me and you weren’t raised by your parents but you were taken in or adopted by loving people, your feelings are valid. You aren’t ungrateful or disrespectful for feeling unworthy, unloveable or anything else because your blood chose not to be part of your life. If you’re ready to move out of that feeling of defeat and move into a feeling of empowerment, check out my complimentary community on Facebook “defeat to empowered: Women reclaiming their lives after childhood trauma”  


If you liked what you just read and you're wondering how you can begin your journey, come hang out in the Mama's Rising Above community!

It's a community for women who are sick of not feeling well, sick of feeling hopeless and powerless in their own life.

It's for women looking for a safe place to step into their best, most confident self.
It's for women who are done with excuses, hiding and procrastination and are on a mission for answers to feeling their best.

Click here to join the community


Reclaiming my Voice After a Traumatic Childhood

Reclaiming my Voice After a Traumatic Childhood

“Children should be seen and Not heard”



Have you ever heard that expression? 

I

 remember my grandma saying that was the belief of the older generation when she was growing up. 

When she told me this I was in complete disagreement. Even as a teen, I knew that my voice as a young person was valuable. 



As an adult, I have experienced this. Being treated as a child whose opinion isn’t worth anything. 



Truth be told, I’ve felt this way for the majority of my life.

I have struggled hardcore with speaking up for myself, speaking up for the things I believe in because there is almost always someone standing right there, waiting to tell me I’m wrong. 

I

’m a work in progress but I have learned so much on this journey reclaiming my life after my traumatic childhood.

There are 3 things that have really stuck with me lately… 



1) everyone is entitled to their opinion 



2) my voice matters



3) to be witnessed in my truth, is to be loved… therefore, holding back my opinion is a disservice to myself and everyone else. 



The fact is, is that everyone has a different truth based on their own experience. That’s okay. 



After a childhood and young adulthood of being told that your opinion doesn’t matter, it takes time to come out of your shell and embrace your voice.

This sent me on a mission.. how was I going to do this!? Is there a cheat sheet? 



Well.. there wasn’t! It took me a while to put all the things I learned together but I’ve done and I created a program that walks you step by step through reclaiming your voice (and your life, for that matter) after a traumatic childhood.

It’s called “Rising from the Ashes: 90 day program”. There’s no cost to it but I know that it will help you change your life for the better if that’s what you’re going for! If that sounds good to you, start your journey now
If you liked what you just read and you're wondering how you can begin your journey, come hang out in the Mama's Rising Above community!

It's a community for women who are sick of not feeling well, sick of feeling hopeless and powerless in their own life.

It's for women looking for a safe place to step into their best, most confident self.
It's for women who are done with excuses, hiding and procrastination and are on a mission for answers to feeling their best.

Click here to join the community


Reigniting the Light in Me: My journey from Stuck to Freedom

I felt stuck for YEARS. 



I spent so much time searching for that one way that would help me to release the weight of my trauma and finally stop lugging it around with me everywhere I went. 

I spoke with physiologists, therapists, counsellors but I wasn’t getting the help that I truly desired.

Eventually, after years of talking… I got really tired of talking. I was tired of recounting the horrors of my childhood to people who didn’t really try to hide the fact that they didn’t really care.

So.. I stopped talking. It was all fine and dandy at first but then I started to have stomach troubles and I started to have anxiety and bouts of depression.. I didn’t like the person I was becoming.

I wasn’t okay with how I was feeling so I made my mind up that I had to find a way to solve it for myself.

This was the beginning of a very long, rewarding journey that I’m still walking today, as I write this.

When I started down this path, I felt alone and like I was the biggest mistake to have ever graced this Earth.

Now, I know that I am here for a reason.. (you are too, by the way) and that my existence is on purpose. I have so much to offer this world… (you do too, by the way). 

It hasn’t been easy. 



A friend of mine said something absolutely beautiful and SO on point. She said “You can’t grow until you prune. You have to cut off the dead weight.” 



Are you carrying around the weight of your trauma with you everywhere you go? Are you ready to prune it away so you can finally grow into the beautiful person you were meant to be?

I’ve got a free Facebook community called “Defeated but ready to thrive 25+ women” where I am helping women just like myself, walk the path I’ve walked. In there I have a free program that walks you from feeling stuck to freedom. If you'd like, head over and
join us... if you're not quite ready, no biggie.
If you liked what you just read and you're wondering how you can begin your journey, come hang out in the Mama's Rising Above community!

It's a community for women who are sick of not feeling well, sick of feeling hopeless and powerless in their own life.

It's for women looking for a safe place to step into their best, most confident self.
It's for women who are done with excuses, hiding and procrastination and are on a mission for answers to feeling their best.

Click here to join the community


Reigniting the Light in Me: The Damage Caused from NOT using my Voice

Reigniting the Light in Me: The Damage Caused from NOT using my Voice
Using my voice has not been something I have done well in my life. 

I can see now the damage that it has caused. 



The earliest memory that I have is when I was a toddler. 

My dad and I were living at my grandparents house and there has been a thunder and lightening storm that had knocked the power out. It scared me and I remember my dad telling me not to cry about it… I think I was around the age of 3 or 4 at the time. 



I think that was the first time I was told to hold in my emotions. It stuck with me all through my life. 



I have been through thick and thin.. things that would have broke some people but I never let my emotions show. 



Growing up, living primarily with my grandparents I was resentful toward my parents for not wanting me. 



My mom had my brother and sister living with her and my dad chose to live with his girlfriends who often had kids so I wondered what was wrong with me. What had I done wrong that made them not love me or not want me?!?

 

I remember waiting one day for my mom to show up to take me somewhere and she never came… I was heartbroken that she didn’t show.. what had I done?!? 



Now I know that it didn’t have anything to do with me. As an adult, I can fully recognize that the way my parents showed up in my life had everything to do with them and nothing to do with me. 



I can also see the damage that not using my voice has caused in my life. There have been many times when I have not gotten the outcome I have desired because I was too afraid to speak up for myself. 



Do you ever experience that? Not expressing yourself because you fear what others might say or think about you? If so, I have created a guide to help you learn how to speak up for yourself and forget the fear of conflict.
If you liked what you just read and you're wondering how you can begin your journey, come hang out in the Mama's Rising Above community!

It's a community for women who are sick of not feeling well, sick of feeling hopeless and powerless in their own life.

It's for women looking for a safe place to step into their best, most confident self.
It's for women who are done with excuses, hiding and procrastination and are on a mission for answers to feeling their best.

Click here to join the community


How to Find Your Way When Life seems Impossible

How to Find Your Way When Life seems Impossible

Have you ever wondered why the things in Your life have happened the way that they have?!? 


I have! I have been searching for YEARS!


Growing up I wondered why I was dealt the hand that I was. Why was I abused? Given the parents and experiences I was given? 


I knew it had to be more than people are just horrible. I don’t actually believe that humankind is horrible. 


It set me out on a search. 


Recently it has all come into perspective thanks to a difficult situation my family has been dealing with. 


See, a couple of weeks ago, I had dropped my kids off with the sitter and pick them up some time later just like a normal day... only it hadn’t been a normal day. 


When my husband was getting my son ready for bed, he discovered that his bottom had been bruised from the small of his back to the top of his legs. It was massive. 


The story the sitter was telling didn’t line up with the bruise I saw on my sons bottom. I quickly reported it. 


We’ve run into a road block with an uncooperative doctor and a sitter refusing to speak with the authorities. So, no criminal charges at this point. However, she’s being investigated by family services. 


The moment I was told she wouldn’t be charged, a fire ignited in my heart. I HAVE to get justice for my son... 


it’s so much bigger than that now though. I’m the voice for all children who so desperately need someone to stand up and say, “enough is enough!”  


I’m on a mission to raise awareness and be the voice for the millions of children that are abuse victims and survivors through a foundation I am in the process of creating.

 If you or someone you know are or have been affected by child abuse, know that I’m right there with you.


I have created a free group on Facebook where I teach you when I have done myself— that is, find a strength that’s hidden deep down inside you and a love for yourself that you might not even know is there.

If you liked what you just read and you're wondering how you can begin your journey, come hang out in the Mama's Rising Above community!

It's a community for women who are sick of not feeling well, sick of feeling hopeless and powerless in their own life.

It's for women looking for a safe place to step into their best, most confident self.
It's for women who are done with excuses, hiding and procrastination and are on a mission for answers to feeling their best.

Click here to join the community


 
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