Recently, I had an experience where my feelings were invalidated because the person didn’t understand why or how I could feel the way I am feeling and have felt throughout my whole childhood.
If you are someone who has been adopted or raised by someone other than your parents, you will understand where I’m coming from.
The thought process I’m being challenged with… “You were raised by people who love you, so you have no right to complain”
Okay, I can see how someone could think this. For so long, I felt like I was massively misunderstood and like I was selfish for feeling the way I felt. What I have learned is that there is a very significant and justified reason for the feelings I have about my childhood.
I have found that this is a largely misunderstood topic so let me break it down for you.
We are all born with a mother and a father. It was intended by the universe for those two people to raise the child. There is a very strong bond between mother and child.
So, when the mother makes the choice to not raise her child and allow someone else to do it, or maybe she’s unable to care for the child for whatever reason, the separation from the mother is a very traumatic event… even IF it is fairly peaceful.
I have battled against many, many complicated feelings as I grew up. Now, as an adult, I am grasping the concept but I am still very much in a learning curve.
However, make no mistake… my feelings toward my childhood are no indication of being ungrateful towards the people who raised me. It is because of those people that I am the person that I am today. They gave me the foundation which gave me a fighting chance.
If you’re like me and you weren’t raised by your parents but you were taken in or adopted by loving people, your feelings are valid. You aren’t ungrateful or disrespectful for feeling unworthy, unloveable or anything else because your blood chose not to be part of your life. If you’re ready to move out of that feeling of defeat and move into a feeling of empowerment, check out my complimentary community on Facebook “defeat to empowered: Women reclaiming their lives after childhood trauma”