This week, I’m taking a bit of a break from talking about Pinterest because I think it’s important for me to be real and authentic in how I show up and this is what’s on my heart this week.
Pressure, but not just any pressure. I’m talking about the pressure to be perfect.
Oh man, I haven’t felt this kind of pressure in such a long time that I kinda forgot what it felt like.
All through school, high school and university, I put this immense pressure on myself to do all the things perfectly.
Perfect papers, perfect projects, perfect grades.
Did I always do things perfectly? Not a chance! Which would begin a cycle of self loathing and negative self talk.
Have you ever found yourself in that cycle or putting those expectations on yourself?
To be completely honest, I have no idea where it stems from for me. That’s a stone I haven’t found yet but this pressure has recently come to the surface with a series of big events happening in my life right now.
It’s not like, I had parents pressuring me with being perfect… they weren’t. I was always told while I was growing up that as long as I did my best, that was all I could do.
I suppose somewhere along the line, my definition of “my best” got a little mixed up.
I have described it to my husband as “feeling like I’m in a pressure cooker.”
This is something that I’m still navigating so I don’t have any sage advice to help you through it. I’m just here to say that if you feel this way… I’m right there with you. I feel it too.
I do know that overcoming this will mean I have to find the root of it and retrain my brain to not put as much pressure on myself to be perfect… which logically, in my head, I know is an unrealistic expectation to have on myself.
If you’d like to follow my journey and walk along side me, I have a community where I help other female entrepreneurs learn how to own their lives— body, mind and business. There’s a pretty awesome training in the units section which teaches you how to utilize Pinterest as a BOSS business tool. Click on the button to head over and check it out!
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I went to school. I became a teacher. When I first started out, I had this idealist view in my head that I was going to be a teacher and save the world.
Then, I started teaching and it didn’t take me long to realize that teaching in the traditional classroom wasn’t where I was supposed to be. I loved my co-workers. I enjoyed getting to know and developing relationships with my students but there was something missing.
I knew that I needed to find my purpose and my passion because spending my life doing something that took the fire out of my soul wasn’t an option.
In 2018, just after I had my daughter, I learned about the possibility of creating my own business and it lit a fire in me that teaching had put out.
I started building my business in December 2018. I knew there were many ways that I could build my business and I quickly decided that I would build my business online simply because I have access to way more people online than I do face to face.
I got my website and started learning how to create the content. Then, the real learning started happening.
It’s not enough to create the content, you have to get eyeballs on it…
With this realization, came a big learning curve.
Fast forward to March 2020. By this point, I had learned that I need to use all of my social media platforms to share my business but there was still something missing.
A good Facebook post or Instagram post only has a small reach IF it get interaction. I was looking for something bigger.
I should add that, all the while, I was a big Pinterest fan. I knew that if I could figure out how to use Pinterest with my business that it would be huge for my business.
Then, I figured it out and I started putting my new strategy to work!
I went from crickets on my website to consistent website traffic in a matter of months!
If you’d like to learn how I did it, there’s a training in my free community about how to build your business from nothing on Pinterest. Click the button below to join the party!
Teach me more!
In part 1 of this blog series, I talked a lot about how the mind. Today, we’re going to talk about the body aspect of my mantra.
In my last blog post, I was talking a lot about I had pushed down a lot of hard emotions and I alluded to how that impacted my physical health but I’d like to unpack that a bit more.
A build up of emotions in your body can really throw your system for the loop. When your mood is off and if you’re like me and you’ve lived in a highly stressful situation for any period of time, you may have experienced first hand what that high stress situation can do to your health. If you haven’t lived in a high stress situation, let me spell this out for you.
Alright, so, stress triggers the body to produce cortisol. Cortisol triggers your fight or flight response and when your fight or flight response is on alert, your body slows functions and bodily processes that it deems less important like digestion. When your digestion is off, that presents many challenges but mostly results in nutrient deficiency.
Okay, how does all that translate into someone’s life? Well, for me, it meant that I had stomach/digestive issues from early on in my life. It meant that I had a severe hormonal imbalance which resulted in very sporadic and unpredictable menstrual cycles, a mood rollercoaster that I wouldn’t wish on anyone and excess weight that was and remains to be difficult to melt away.
When I started to deal with getting my mind right, it gave my body a chance to start to sort itself out as well. With less emotion being stored up, my body is using less energy on resisting the emotion and more energy on setting itself right.
All of this ties into business because I’m an entrepreneur that helps other entrepreneurial women build their businesses. If my mind and body are busy fighting themselves then there’s no room left to build a successful, kick butt business or help other women do the same.
If you’re tired of struggling with owning your life mind, body & Pinterest (or business) and you’d like to learn more about me, I invite you to join my community, Fierce & Independent Women where you will find a bunch of really great information about improving your mind, body and business.
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P.S. There’s a training in the units section that will teach you how to get started using Pinterest for your business in 5 days!
Well, I’ve been on this amazing journey this year. I’ve been learning a ton and growing even more!
Do you know what happens when we do that… or at least what happened to me?
I pushed all the hard stuff down and I built a very, VERY high wall around me emotionally… that didn’t do any favours for me either. I went from this happy go lucky 5 year old to this closed off and depressed 14 year old and I stayed that closed off and depressed person for WAY TO LONG! Let’s say like, something handy to 15 years...
But what happens when you don’t deal with the emotional stuff?!? It comes out somehow...
2020 has given me SO MUCH time and the resources to process those emotional things so that I could start to break down the wall I had constructed around my heart.
Recently, I had an experience where my feelings were invalidated because the person didn’t understand why or how I could feel the way I am feeling and have felt throughout my whole childhood.
If you are someone who has been adopted or raised by someone other than your parents, you will understand where I’m coming from.
The thought process I’m being challenged with… “You were raised by people who love you, so you have no right to complain”
Okay, I can see how someone could think this. For so long, I felt like I was massively misunderstood and like I was selfish for feeling the way I felt. What I have learned is that there is a very significant and justified reason for the feelings I have about my childhood.
I have found that this is a largely misunderstood topic so let me break it down for you.
We are all born with a mother and a father. It was intended by the universe for those two people to raise the child. There is a very strong bond between mother and child.
So, when the mother makes the choice to not raise her child and allow someone else to do it, or maybe she’s unable to care for the child for whatever reason, the separation from the mother is a very traumatic event… even IF it is fairly peaceful.
I have battled against many, many complicated feelings as I grew up. Now, as an adult, I am grasping the concept but I am still very much in a learning curve.
However, make no mistake… my feelings toward my childhood are no indication of being ungrateful towards the people who raised me. It is because of those people that I am the person that I am today. They gave me the foundation which gave me a fighting chance.
If you’re like me and you weren’t raised by your parents but you were taken in or adopted by loving people, your feelings are valid. You aren’t ungrateful or disrespectful for feeling unworthy, unloveable or anything else because your blood chose not to be part of your life. If you’re ready to move out of that feeling of defeat and move into a feeling of empowerment, check out my complimentary community on Facebook “defeat to empowered: Women reclaiming their lives after childhood trauma”