Have you ever sat back and thought about what you would say to the younger version of yourself?
I have. There is so much I would say. I would begin with this…
Dear Younger Me,
Life will get better. You will be happy.
I know you’ve dealt with some pretty horrendous things. The streams of tears running down your cheeks because they said they’d show up and didn’t, the avoidance strategies to protect yourself, the tough exterior… none of those things had anything to do with you.
All of that stuff says nothing about who you are or what you’re worth. It says a whole lot about the people who did it. It says that they were hurting and projected that hurt onto you.
I know you feel like you need to earn the love and acceptance of the people who should just love and accept you anyways. I know you feel like you’re walking on broken glass. So the pressure you put on yourself to be perfect is way more than any human can handle.
Sweet girl, love with conditions is not love. It disguises itself as love but it’s not love.
The ideas of needing to be a certain way or act a certain way or look a certain way… those aren’t on you. Those ideas belong to other people. You don’t need to fit that mould. You are perfect just the way you were created to be.
Embrace your love. Take hold of your big, loving heart and let it shine. Don’t hide your light to spare someone else that doesn’t really care hurt.
Dr. Seuss said it best… “Those who mind, don’t matter and those who matter, don’t mind.”
That only touches the surface. Like many people, I’ve been on a healing journey. I have heart to help other women begin their healing journey. If that’s you, I think you might like my email list. I send out a weekly rise up on Tuesday’s. It’s got tips on how to ditch the feeling hopeless and like you have absolutely no power in your life.
Jump on the list here!
Lately, I’ve noticed a theme in some conversations I’ve had with a few different people. The gist of the conversations were:
Me: “such and such is difficult or taking longer than we thought”
Person: “So, don’t do it”
These conversations got me to thinking about where this idea came from that if something is harder than you thought it would be or takes longer than you first thought it would that you should give up on it.
Meanwhile, quitting is looked down on… am I the only one that doesn’t see how this makes sense?
This idea that we should only do things that don’t challenge us or aren’t too difficult seems to be keeping many people in the “well, that’s good enough” place where they are neither unhappy or enthusiastic about living life rather they simply drone on day in, day out living their “good enough” existence.
This was me for a while… mind you, not very long because there was a fire in my soul for something better… I didn’t know what but I knew that living the same day, everyday wasn’t particularly fulfilling.
Was it comfortable? Sure was!
Was it safe? Heck yeah!
Was I excited to live my life? Nope!
I love this quote from “Girl, wash your face”! It really resonates with me because I believe that each and every person on this Earth was put here for a reason and just existing is okay but by only just existing, we’re completely missing the point of our purpose.
“A caterpillar is awesome, but if the caterpillar stopped there— if she just decided that good is good enough— we would all miss out on the beautiful creature she would become.” Rachel Hollis
So, my questions for you are, are you tired of living a “good enough” existence? And are you ready discover your purpose?
If you answered “yes” to those questions, you’ll really enjoy my community “Fierce & Independent Women”. It’s a community where we acknowledge the tough stuff so that we can rise from the ashes and matamorphosize our lives. Check it out with the button below.
Check out Fierce & Independent Women
Why does authenticity seem so hard to come by?
I’ve been listening to Matthew West’s song “Truth by Told” on repeat lately. It sings to my soul. I love the message and it got me to thinking about my own life.
I was talking with a friend earlier this week about how I’ve craved real, authentic connection for the majority of my life. A kind of connection where I feel safe to be the version of Emily I was created to be and not just the societal approved version of Emily.
It was a pretty deep conversation.
Then it occurred to me… is it other people that I’m craving the authentic connection with or is it an authentic connection to myself that I’m craving.
I think it could be a bit of both.
You see, we have all had our own level of trauma that tells us who we are is not good enough, not worthy, not loveable, not smart. In the process of these messages, it changes the pieces of our personality that we allow to shine through to the outside.
I’ve embarked on a journey that I have deemed, rising from the ashes. It’s a process where I’ve been digging threw all the layers of trauma that I’ve endured in my life and rediscovering and loving the version of me that’s been neglected for so many years.
Acknowledging the truth can be hard because sometimes it’s not what we want to hear. It’s not soft and fluffy. Burying the things that hurt can be a hell of a lot easier than dealing with them but, friend, I’m here to tell you that those emotional wounds are no different than a cut or scrape on your skin. They need air to heal. Speaking the truth is the only way to give them air.
It’s been an amazing process. Not easy but so rewarding. It’s been so refreshing to break down the wall of protection that I had built up around myself and start to love and embrace the beautiful person I was created to be.
I wrote a book on the framework that I’ve created around the process of rising from the ashes. It’s set to officially release next week but you can pre-order the ebook by clicking on the green button below.
Pre-order Rising from the Ashes Here
I was asking a friend to help me narrow down the goals that I set for myself over the next 6 weeks. She had asked me what I was considering so, I listed them off. She helped me talk them through and at the end of our conversation, she made an observation. She said, “ you have a habit of spreading yourself too thin... why do you do that?”
At first, I brushed it off by saying “it’s just how I am” which she didn’t buy. So I tried explaining that I get bored quickly if I don’t have a bunch of different things on the go at the same time.
This is completely true but she wasn’t letting me off the hook. So, I sat there in thought until it came to me.
“I’m addicted to stress?” I questioned
I guess even with all the work I’ve done reclaiming my life, I am still a work in progress... but that will always be true. I will always be a work in progress.
So, you may be wondering, how is someone addicted to stress?!
Well, it’s the chemicals that your brain produces that are actually the addiction but when you’ve lived in a high stress environment for a prolonged period of time, your body begins to become desensitized to the chemicals. If this happens for long enough, you actually become dependent on those chemicals to function.
This is the category, I have realized I am in. I have become dependent on those stress hormones to function. Without them, I feel like my world is going haywire and my anxiety flairs up to create a “calm”… I use that term loosely because it’s not at all calm.
At this point, I don’t have all the answers on how to correct and heal from this addiction but I do know where to start, which is huge. I can also say that if this sounds like you, you aren’t alone and I’d like to invite you on this journey with me.
I have created a community on Facebook of women who are ready to reclaim their lives as their own- body, mind and Pinterest. This is a community all about nourishing our WHOLE selves. It’s a place where we aren’t just mom or the spouse or the caregiver. It’s a community where we are vibrant women creating the lives we have been dreaming of. You’re invited! The more the merrier! The green button below will take you there.
Join the Community
I’ve heard this question time and time again and the answer I usually give is… no, it isn’t.
Today, I’m going to break down why I give this answer. To do this, I’ll share 3 ways that Pinterest is an asset for your business that you NEED to utilize.
Before I do that though, I need to call out the elephant so to speak, I think we can all agree that there is a large DIY audience on Pinterest but the entire platform is not built on DIY… it’s so much more than that!
1. The grow your business you need EYEBALLS
Pinterest has 425 million active monthly users (as I write this in Jan. 2021) and all of those people are not crafters. And even if they were, that is not the only thing they are interested in and searching. People use Pinterest to find answers, being that it is a search engine. So, why Pinterest rather than Google or duckduckgo? Well, I think both can be useful. I like Pinterest because I am a visual learner and Pinterest offers me the visual to grab my attention where Google and duckduckgo do not.
2. It allows you to reach more of YOUR audience.
Let’s talk more on the visual aspect of Pinterest a little more. So, when you create content like a blog, it’s not a 1 and done situation on Pinterest. You can actually share 5 different graphics to every link you share on the platform. When you’re creating 5 different graphics, you’re going to be able to reach a more complete group of your audience because different people are attracted to different graphics. You’re also able to reach more of the visual learners through Pinterest that you would completely miss out on on a less visual platform.
3. It’s EVERGREEN
Yeah, you read that right. Who wants to spend a tonne of time promoting the same thing over and over? As a business owner, you don’t have that kind of time. Therefore, you need to be able to do the work once and have it continue to work for you on its own with little to no action from you. When you use optimize your profile and content, it will show up in searches for years to come.
If you’d like to learn more about how the algorithm of Pinterest works, I’ll be sharing those details in my group, Fierce and Independent Women and it will be saved in the units section for viewing pleasure anytime! There’s also a 5 day Pin Blitz in there that will help you get started with Pinterest if you currently aren’t on the platform. The green button below will take you the group if you’d like in one either of those goods.